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What do I do when I don't know my purpose? (11/14/23)




In the last two weeks, I’ve met with three women who were struggling to discover or shall I say, rediscover their purpose. From the outside, these women have much to be grateful for: healthy marriages, beautiful and kind children and immense professional achievements. 


I’m not sure if this has to do with our current age of late 40s early 50s but I definitely think that there’s a correlation between our 20s and 30s and our 40s and 50s. These age ranges share the struggle with understanding what our gifts to the world are. What is my purpose in life? When we hit our late 40's and 50's it seems our definition of purpose has changed. It is morphing and we don't know how to re-size it; how to discover or find purpose once again.


Here are some suggestions to rediscover purpose that have helped me.


1. Read the book the Artist's WayThis book has taught me so many things but first and foremost: daily pages. Every day you write for 20 minutes or three full pages. This is just a free flow of ideas. It is whatever you are thinking. If you want to cuss, do it. If you want to ramble about nothing, do it. If you jot down that you don't know what to write and it is irritating you, do it! The purpose of the daily pages is to practice listening to your inner voice. Many times we suppress our inner voice by keeping ourselves busy. This is a way of getting it out on paper to give it life and to create a space for it. Once I started doing daily pages, I realized that Amor Fati was exactly what I wanted to give to the world. So, you are experiencing and reading a portion of one of the chapters in my upcoming book, Amor Fati: How to Embrace and Love One’s Fate.


2. Meditate/Pray After I started my daily pages, I was meditating one morning and this concept of Amor Fati came to me. I didn't know if it was a book or a podcast but I knew I had to create this work. This is a great example of listening to your inner self. And if you need an app to help you meditate, there are inexpensive ones out there: Calm and Headspace are my faves. 


3. Listen to what others are telling you. Another way to get connected to your purpose is to listen to what others are telling you. If you’re hearing the same message over and over I’d suggest you listen to it.


4. Silence Walk in nature or do something in which you are just by yourself. Or, while driving in the car, turn off the radio. While cooking dinner, don’t have music or the television playing. Get some silence. The silence is what is going to get you practicing listening to the self.PS You may have discomfort at first with this (I did). But don't give up, you get more and more comfortable with it. 


5. Nose breathing I think this term for deep breathing is silly and memorable. Nose breathing in and out is the best way to quiet your sympathetic nervous system. And the more we slow down, the more open we will be to hearing those inner nudges. 


6. Journal prompts:

  • What were you doing the last time you felt like you were in the flow? (Meaning, you lost track of time and space because you were so into whatever you were doing.)

  • What were you doing when you have used your strengths to create a better world? 

  • What do you do for fun? 

  • What do you want to be remembered for? 

  • Who are the people you admire? 

  • What are your goals and values?  

  • Do you believe you deserve this new purpose? Or are you embarrassed to ask for it? It is too big? 


7. Gratitude 

Write at least 20 things you are grateful for. Hand write a note or send a text to someone thanking them. Write yourself a letter and mail it, telling yourself all the things you are grateful for. If you struggle to find things to be grateful for, don't give up. Keep coming back to it. It helps, I promise!


I hope these tips are helpful. This work is not for the faint of heart but it is so worth the ride!

Sarah

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